


Darthfett Headcanon Dump

by fakebodies



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: M/M, Not a fic, archiving from blog, headcanon dump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 04:17:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6550468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fakebodies/pseuds/fakebodies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>multiple chapters, lists of headcanons for various aus etc</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Movie Nights (lumped w/ College AU)

-Boba secretly really likes feel-good movies/romcoms where everything works out and its funny but at the end you still care about the characters

-Vader has a special edition copy of Repo Man that is his pride and joy

-They both like to watch horror movies and they both make the mistake of watching them at three in the morning alone, which will sometimes lead to sharing a bed because, you know, they’re totally not paranoid at all but _just in case_

-They take turns ordering the food for the night and bringing the beer. Vader couldn’t care less about the type of beer as long as it’s not watered down but Boba actually has a preference. “Like any human being with taste buds,” as he’d say

-Vader also has a lot of weird old foreign films on VHS, like really really strange shit.

-Boba’s the old crappy sci-fi guy though, chances are he’s got a copy of any terrible sci-fi movies you can think of

-Vader goes to thrift shops and garage sales to buy VHS tapes, he has a combo VHS/DVD player that is one of his most prized possessions, he insists there’s nothing quite like watching a horror movie on a tape, that a DVD just takes away from the “feel” of it

-Boba, on the other hand, tries to pick up blu-rays whenever he has the money to. He has no idea why Vader likes VHS tapes so much, they’re old and they break and wear out

-If they decide to make popcorn its gotta be Jiffy Pop, they both agree that its way more fun that way, even if Jiffy Pop is hard to find

-If they buy candy they buy it at Menards from on top of the DVD stand. It’s all movie theater sized boxes AND they have shit like Junior Caramels. Menards movie candy ftw

-On all-night movie marathons Vader is definitely the one to fall asleep first, since Boba will down a bunch of Monsters and Vader can’t really have energy drinks, so Vader usually calls Boba a cheater.

-They have a futon instead of a couch and they lay it flat and cover it with pillows so Vader can lay comfortably for long times during marathons

-Vader actually has a pretty nice sound system he scraped together himself so they usually watch in his room, if Boba insists that they watch a blu-ray they’ll just unhook Boba’s player and bring it over


	2. College AU

-Boba is a sophomore and Vader/Anakin is the senior TA in one of Boba’s class

-Boba literally never speaks in class outside of like “yes” and “no”

-He also wears sunglasses pretty much all the time even though he doesn’t drink enough to be hungover ever

-Vader rarely speaks too but he almost gets in a fight w/ Boba when he catches Boba staring at him

-hes honestly ready to kick Boba’s ass for looking at him wrong but it wasn’t because Boba was grossed out or anything he was just interested in Vader’s tattoos

-Eventually they end up on the roof of one of the buildings where they drink cheap beer and talk about family bc Boba never had a mother and Vader never had a father

-Vader is a really skilled fencer (even though he doesn’t look like he could be a fencer) and Boba’s father was a police officer so he knows how to handle himself really well in a fight

-Vader gets sick really easily and had to stop fencing in competitions because of respiratory issues but he still practices every now and then

-Vader’s just kind of this really big intimidating guy who keeps his hair shaved and has lots of scars and Boba’s like the only other student who isn’t afraid of him, like even seniors are freaked out by this tall silent scarred-up dude with the slightly raspy breathing

-all of Vader’s friends from high school went different ways: Padmé went to some really prestigious law school, Rex joined the military, he and Obi-Wan got in a huge fight before Obi-Wan graduated and he hasn’t heard from Obi-Wan since

-Boba was homeschooled by his nanny and because of that he didn’t have any real friends


	3. Tron AU

-Boba would be Flynn, he gets sucked into the grid while trying to dig up some shit on a target  
-Sidious is MCP like lol how could he not be  
-Vader is a green military program, Boba managed to escape the cells for the games bc come on his thing is getting out of shitty situations he does that all the time  
-he finds Vader after Vader’s tank crashes and instead of leaving Vader to die he brings him with  
-naturally Vader is like “wtf” bc he’s like instantly replaceable, nobody cares abt military programs, and besides he was just trying to kill Boba too  
-boba makes sure Vader isn’t gonna pull any shit and they set off together- boba figures since he’s literally inside the computer he was trying to access he might as well get the info while he’s here instead of risking getting digitized again by escaping w/out what he needs  
-naturally problems arise when Vader is faced w/ Master Sidious Program bc he has no way to go against MSP  
-he still does his best 2 help boba get his shit  
-Boba gets out alive  
-Vader is probably fucked up/brainwashed/derezzed  
-rip in peace computer Vader


	4. Pacific Rim AU

Vader having been trained since he was a small child, naturally, and was only a pilot for a short time. When he lost his partner Obi-Wan the damage was just too much for him to continue piloting. He was brought back on as an engineer working on restoring Jaegers, though.

Boba’s a hotshot trainee, the best of the best. His father was a pilot before him, and Jango was also lost to the Kaiju. When Boba’s training is complete he insists on having his father’s Jaeger restored and repainted. Vader has a reputation for being the best at restoring older Jaeger models, so Boba specifically requests him.

The Slave I is brought to Vader and he and his team get to work restoring it. It’s repainted green, gold, and red and adorned with the Journeyman Protector symbol, the same on Jango had used, and Jango’s mentor before him.

Boba hangs around to make sure the restoration process is going smoothly, and he and Vader start to talk. They’re a little at odds at first, Jango had never been very fond of Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan had considered Jango reckless and unworthy of being a Jaeger pilot. Gradually, they warm up to each other (especially over weapons. Oooo boy they both have a fondness for discouraged, shifty weapons enhancements)

Vader is there for Boba’s first real drift, and when Boba starts to chase the rabbit Vader is the one who’s able to talk him out of it. Boba handles himself with ease after that, once he’s able to dispel the image of his father’s headless corpse being brought back to the shatterdome.

Of course, they’re separate most of the time, Vader is needed for work on the Jaegers constantly and Boba stays mostly with the other pilots. Still, some nights Boba will come out to Vader’s work station and sit with him and talk about everything that had happened, what they want for the future, if they think they’ll ever be able to stop the Kaiju. Boba’s so certain they’ll win, because they _have_ to, too many lives are riding on their shoulders. Vader isn’t certain. Each Jaeger he repairs is more damaged than the last one, and he knows that soon they won’t be repairable at all. Boba just smiles tiredly when Vader tells him that and promises that if anything he’ll stop the Kaiju just for him. He means it, too. Vader means that much to him.

Finally, finally they close the breach, and everyone is celebrating, and Boba almost gets sucked into it all but he manages to think up an excuse and makes his way out to Vader, and just like all the other nights before they sit together on a platform, up by the head of a Jaeger, and talk about what they want for the future. This time is the first night they’ve ever had hope that those dreams will come true. It’s nice, and Boba finds himself hoping that whatever happens, he’ll still be near Vader.


	5. Roleswap AU (pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ah yes, the headcanons that started it all

Oh man role swap aus are also some of my favorites so like: Vader having been the name Anakin worked under as a bounty hunter, and since he was never a Jedi he isn’t trained but his Force-sensitivity gives him heightened instincts and junk so he’s really highly sought after for jobs.

Boba, though. Oh boy. Boba. Boba being stolen as an infant while Jango is out on a job. Jango rushing home when he gets no answering transmission from Kamino only to find his son gone. Jango is never the same again. Boba is warped and shaped by Sidious, trained by uncaring droids and given only enough to survive. A little more than Maul was given - every mind must be molded and broken differently - but he is still turned into a killing machine.

Vader and Jango having developed a partnership at some point. They work well together, and neither of them suspect that the masked murderer in a crude approximation of Beskar'gam is Boba Fett. Neither of them know that the armor is Boba’s only memory of his father, muddled and poorly suppressed. Naturally, someone takes out a bounty on Boba, and naturally Vader and Jango take it.

Jango almost lets himself get killed when Boba’s helmet is knocked off. The man before him is his son. He refuses to fight. Vader is luckily able to knock Boba unconscious and they leave. Jango hopes he can reach his son when Boba comes to, but he can’t. Sidious had done too much for it to be so easy. Vader assures Jango they can work out some kind of deal with their employer so that they can keep Boba, can work to undo the years of abuse from the Emperor. They do work out an agreement, compensating their employer for the lack of a body.

When Vader brings Boba actual food, Boba is wary and surprised. He asks what they want from him. What motives they have for bribing him. The soup is watered down and under-seasoned to say the least, and the way Boba hunches down to shelter the bowl as he eats as quickly as he can…it hurts Vader. The last time Boba had been in a cell he’d had to eat rats, and he’d had to eat them raw. He’d assumed the same would be true now, in this new, different cell. He’s still wary of his captors, still fully willing to murder them without a second thought if he’s freed, but if the idiots are willing to give him real sustenance he’s more than ready to take advantage of the situation


	6. Roleswap AU (pt 2)

-Vader can speak a little Mando'a but not a lot, really basic conversational stuff

-Jango starts to read to Boba in Mando'a and it really helps Boba because it reminds him of his very faint memories from before Sidious

-Boba tried to teach himself Mando'a after he heard someone call his armor Beskar'gam while on a mission for Sidious, and when he demanded to know what the word meant the Mandalorian told him it just meant armor, that it looked Mandalorian.

-Boba has a lot of nightmares about being taken from Kamino and from being tortured, he wakes up screaming a lot, although sometimes he wakes up unable to move. He scratches at his arms or sides when he gets nervous

-Vader notices that Boba gets really anxious when he doesn’t have stuff to do, and Boba hasn’t tried hurting Jango yet so he decides one day to sit with Boba and they disassemble and clean weapons together

-Vader gives Boba his helmet back once he’s sure there are no trackers/communicators/transmitters in it and he finds Boba sitting on he floor with it on, knees tucked against his chest, because it makes him feel safer having a layer between him and the world

-Jango goes out of his way to pick things up for Boba on missions, even bringing Boba a set of toys like he used to have, little model spaceships and toy men, the kind that used to be kept lined up in the shelves in Boba’s room.

-Boba almost kills Jango after catching him off-guard. Boba had woken up from a nightmare, disoriented and had lashed out, bashing Jango’s head against the metal edge of the cot. Vader hauls Boba off and restrains him before getting an unconscious Jango out of the room. It’s a bad time for everyone

-Vader is more and more pessimistic about keeping Boba on board, he doesn’t seem to be getting better at all.

-Jango insists they need to keep him, that maybe they could find someone to help, that’s trained to help people. Vader’s not sure even a trained professional could do much.

-There’s three more attacks before Jango stops going back to the holding cells to see Boba. He’s starting to think maybe there’s nothing he can do to bring his son back


End file.
